Big Brother Nemes

We have two babies. We didn't mean for it to happen this way, but it did. When any young, childless couple adopts a puppy, it will inevitably become the baby. As we began to think about getting a dog, a child was not on the radar. A dog would get us through until we had children. But five months after we brought Nemes home, a real baby was on the way. Even so, Nemes still got all the attention, toys and plenty of playtime (except when he wanted to play during my pre-natal yoga routine). Until Audrey arrived. Suddenly his life changed, and for the worse. Though he took to Audrey well he suffered the same way all first-borns do. He has to watch as his parents pour their affection onto someone else. Be told to wait while Audrey's needs are attended to first. Share snuggle time and not be the center of attention. We do our best to love him, but we just simply don't have as much time as we did before Audrey was born. Sometimes Nemes' eyes say to me, "Please, Mom, please play with me" and other times, "Play with me now, Woman!" And I do play with him, I do snuggle and I take him for long walks. But in the end, Audrey always comes first.

When another child arrives, I'm sure Audrey will feel many of the same things Nemes feels now. And dealing with Nemes will help me know how to handle Audrey. Nemes needs to know that we love him and want to be with him. I need to put other things aside and love on him whenever I can. All first-borns get spoiled (Audrey is). It's part of what defines them. But so does the transition from 'only child' to 'older child'. But when a younger sibling enters the scene, so does a new friend. I hope that one day Audrey and Nemes can play together and know they are loved.

And maybe the day Audrey becomes a big sister, she can turn to her friend Nemes for sympathy.