What Hungary Taught Us

When we explained to friends and family why we are leaving Hungary, we got fuddled and kind of say that it's time and then jabbered on without making much sense. After doing that enough times I felt really stupid. I decided I needed to understand why it's time to leave. I then recognized that Hungary has taught us everything we came here to learn, and a lot more. So now it's time to go somewhere else to learn new lessons and implement what we have learned here. So Ryan and I compiled a list and here's 10 lessons we have learned.

We learned:

• how to cook: I already cooked fairly well before we arrived, but I was pushed to make things from scratch I wouldn't have otherwise. Want soup? Start with making stock. Applesauce? First stop is the farmer's market. Cupcakes for 50 coworkers? Plan on baking all day.
  
• that we can live in Europe and we like it, a lot: Ryan always feared he would end up like George Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life, full of unfulfilled dreams and ambitions. But because of our time in Hungary Ryan won't feel that way. We have been in Europe for two and a half years and did well, very well. We're leaving Hungary because we chose to, not because we couldn't cut it.
  
• Ryan can lead and coach all age groups: In the classroom and on the football field, Ryan learned new lessons in leadership. As the coach of the Raptors, Ryan led men who were older than him and they followed. They respected him as their leader, even at the beginning when he had no clue what he was doing.
  
• that it's okay to be taken care of, if not be entirely dependent on others: We needed other people to help us get the simplest things done From making hair appointments to getting visas we need someone to at least assist, if not do it for us. And there's nothing wrong with that. In a world where we crave so much independence, a little dependency is a good thing.
  
• to speak Hungarian: Though we don't speak as well as we should or would like, we speak enough. We can do the basics, and that's pretty good for the third hardest language in the world.
• to appreciate tradition in the church: We started to feel this way before we came to Hungary but it has been solidified. We attend a Lutheran church and have thrived on the tradition. We like standing while the Gospel is read, reciting the Lord's Prayer and Nicene Creed and singing hymns that are 500 years old, not on the top 100 Praise charts.
  
• to depend on each other: Living far away from old friends and family and in a different country has strengthened our relationship in ways that would not have been possible had we never left the States. We need each other more than we ever would have otherwise and have to communicate on an immediate level. Living here forced us to look to each other more exclusively for companionship, support, encouragement, stability and motivation.
• how to live on a small budget and do without luxuries: Living in the backwaters of a former Communist country on a teacher's salary left us no choice but to learn to manage our resources well. If we wanted to travel, eat every day and pay student loans, we had to economize and deny ourselves little luxuries. We have learned that most things we thought we "needed" we actually wanted. Though there are plenty of opportunities to be materialistic, we model our Hungarian friends who are content with less stuff. Because that's all it is, stuff.
  
• to travel better: When we traveled before we moved here, we had to ask at every train station what time our train left because we couldn't read the boards ourselves. Now it's no problem. We can book hostels, cheap flights and find good places to eat. We know how to get the most out of a visit to a city and take advantage of lesser known destinations.
  
• to function in different bureaucratic systems: This has probably been the most frustrating lesson. Though immigration is still ridiculous, we know what's going on and we can get it done. We actually understand it better than the school secretary. The health care system was completely foreign to me when I found out I was pregnant with Audrey but by the end I went to all my appointments by myself and enjoyed my five day hospital stay. I wish I could have another baby here so I wouldn't have to learn another system. The schools are very different. The students have their own classrooms, not the teachers, records are much more informal, grades are on a 1-5 scale and the students have to pass written and oral final exams. We learned to function in these systems because we had to, not because we wanted to. But that's the beauty of living overseas. You have to change, you have to adapt. Otherwise you give up and go home.

This picture was taken two weeks after we arrved in Hungary. This was written two weeks before we leave two and a half years later.