Knocked-Up Abroad: Round Two

"Every pregnancy is different"

I must have only been about four weeks into my first pregnancy when I read this. I read it so often I got tired of it. "I know! I got it already!" But this is going to be extra true for me.

This pregnancy is going to be VERY different.

I had no idea what to expect in Hungary. Not only was it my first pregnancy, everything I read about appointments and when what was done was about the US. Maybe 10% of it applied. Talk about fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants. Up to this point I had only been to a doctor once in Hungary and it was just to get some antibiotics when I was sick. I had no clue what was going on half the time and the only reason I knew that much was because of my gracious friends who went to appointments with me. The whole system was different and I had to learn how to navigate it as well as my changing body. Even though women throughout the world have been pregnant and giving birth in the exact same way for thousands of years, I had a lot more than the average first-time mother to learn.

Now here I am in Canada, expecting #2. So while this is my second pregnancy, in many ways it's like it's my first. Though I know what to expect in the pregnancy, I don't know what to expect in the healthcare system. I don't know at what weeks appointments are scheduled, I don't know where I'll go to get various tests done, I don't know what to bring to the hospital or how long I'll be there.  So it's back on the learning curve. And it's been steep from day one.

In both countries I took a home pregnancy test. In Hungary my friend set up an appointment with an OB-GYN for me and I saw him a few days after the test. The extent of our 'interview' was asking if he spoke English and felt comfortable taking me on as a patient. After he said yes, he examined me to confirm the pregnancy and scheduled an ultrasound for the next week. I was four weeks along at the time. Here I called a midwifery group and the receptionist asked when I was due (I was expected to know, which, of course, I did) and she made sure there was a midwife available and then scheduled my first appointment for 8 weeks. No confirmation. During the interview the midwife told me about the group and how it works and took some basic medical history (mostly about Audrey's pregnancy and birth). At the end we had to tell her we wanted to work with her and we made an appointment for a month later. Nothing medical, just talking.

14 1/2 weeks.

Hungarian insurance provides both an OB-GYN and a midwife. The OB-GYN handels the medical side while the midwife answers questions and spends more time with the expecting mothers. She also visits weekly for the first six weeks after the baby is born and then monthly for the first year. Together they make a complete team. My midwife didn't speak English so my OB-GYN took on more of her role, which I really appreciated. This time around I had to choose: OB or midwife. Going with a midwife was an easy and natural decision for many reasons. I really look forward to working with a midwife and I am thankful that I will have more similar care to what I received in Hungary than if I were to go through and OB. I much prefer hour long appointments to maybe 15 minutes.

My doctor did all my ultrasounds in Hungary. In fact, most of my appointments consisted primarily of ultrasounds. I did have appointments with him in other parts of the hospital but most of our time together was spent looking at a picture of growing Audrey. I felt comfortable asking questions about what we saw or for more information. Though the appointments weren't long I appreciated that I had a relationship with the person telling me about my baby. I had about four ultrasounds in the first trimester and probably another four or five throughout the rest of my pregnancy. In Canada I had my first ultrasound at eleven weeks and that's because I wanted one. The midwife wasn't able to pick up the baby's heartbeat on the Doppler at her office and though I wasn't worried, I still wanted to know my baby was doing fine (and we wanted to hear a heartbeat before we went public). So I called an ultrasound clinic and an ultrasound tech did the screening. While I was still elated to watch my baby squirm around the screen and know there was a healthy heartbeat (I shed a couple of tears), it didn't seem as personal. Not that it really matters, but it's just always nicer when you know the person you are sharing an intimate moment with.

To make an appointment in Hungary, you let the doctor know you're going to slip them some extra cash. The state insurance covers all the expenses but unless you want to see whichever doctor is available when you show up, you have to line the doctor's pocket (usually it's about $10 a visit but ours wouldn't take anything from us). When it was getting close to the week when I needed to see my doctor I called his cell (he even answered it during appointments) and  typically set up an appointment for whenever it was his turn to do ultrasounds. At the time of the appointment he would get me from the waiting room. There were always several other women waiting in line but I got to go ahead of them. I always felt kind of bad. There were several occasions when I had to see another doctor to get documents so I could get maternity leave pay. In these cases I had to wait like everyone else. In order to get in, I had to wait until a nurse popped her head out of the door (there are no receptionists) beat the other expecting mothers back with a stick and attempt to explain why I was there. Then I had to wait my turn and make sure no one cut in front of me (Hungarians are TERRIBLE at waiting in line. And I mean TERRIBLE. Did I mention they're terrible?). Canada's much tamer: either call to schedule an appointment with the receptionist or make the next appointment as you leave. Bliss.

Audrey's growing up so much I can't wait to have another baby around!

 

Giving birth to Audrey in Hungary was one of the best experiences in my life. An experience I would not change for anything and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I learned and grew in ways I never would have otherwise. Learning to navigate the Hungarian healthcare system (which is an accomplishment, I must say) taught me confidence (I had to be rather bold to get some things accomplished) and simply going through a complete pregnancy in a foreign country away from my family showed me I possessed strength I never knew I had. Now I get to do it all again. I'm very excited to see how Canada cares for its expecting mothers and to have a very different pregnancy and birth experience. It keeps life interesting and it keeps me growing. And I want to grow. Both in my understanding of the world and my family.