The Inalienable Rights of Pregnant Women

When we found out I was pregnant with Audrey my head began to spin (in a very excited, anxious sort of way). We didn't plan the pregnancy and I knew almost nothing about being pregnant. I spent the first few weeks on Google researching everything from what not to eat to strollers. I didn't know what to expect from my body or the experience. But now, being pregnant for a second time, I at least have a clue as to what is happening but I for sure know how I want to be treated. And I think the way I want to be treated is the way that most pregnant woman want to be, and should be, treated. Though a woman can function near-normally for almost, if not all, of her pregnancy, she does deserve special consideration and license to do what is best for her.

Here are 10 Rights I believe all pregnant women are entitled to. It is in no way complete and I could add more but these cover the general scope of pregnancy and reflect my experience and those of friends.

1. To Wear Sweats or Yoga Pants Anywhere and Everywhere. I strictly believe that sweats are never to be worn out of the house. No one exercises in them anymore so there's no need to wear them other than when you want to relax at home. Yoga pants are only acceptable when going to or from yoga. That's it. Unless you're pregnant. Then wear them as you please. It's uncomfortable enough simply being pregnant and though maternity pants are stretchy, they're not the most comfortable things in the world. So go on, get comfy. Just be sure to wear a cute dress every once in a while to balance things out.

2. To Only be Told She is 'Beautiful', 'Radiant', 'Lovely' etc... I honestly think most pregnant women are gorgeous. There's something so strong yet elegant about the pregnant silhouette and I can't think of a more complete expression of womanhood. And every pregnant woman deserves to be told that. And only that. She should never be told that she's looking a bit chubby, asked if she's having twins (or triplets), told that she's carrying too high or too low, that she looks tired. Only beautiful. Only perfect. Only spectacular. Even if it's not true, no other words should ever be spoken. Especially by a random person in the grocery line.

3. To Overindulge on Things She 'Shouldn't' Eat. I get it. My baby eats what I eat. I don't really want my baby eating candy and fries but sometimes my body screams "All I want is candy and fries!" Sometimes I listen. And I don't care. As long as a pregnant woman is eating well overall, she's totally allowed to pig out every once in a while. Cravings are joked about so often it's cliché but honestly, they're not funny. When I really want poutine, you'd better stand back until I get it. But that's only when I really want it. Otherwise I tell myself to get over it and I eat something green.

4. To Sit Down. When I was pregnant with Audrey I was fortunate enough to be in Hungary where chivalry is very much so alive. Men give up their seats for women without even thinking about it and they are even more considerate of pregnant women. Standing can be hard, especially in the last trimester of pregnancy. Holding up that growing belly everyone admires is not easy. Add swollen legs and poor circulation and life can just be miserable sometimes. That's when every effort should be made to let the pregnant woman just sit. No matter what the situation is, she should not be made to stand unless she wants to.

5. To Not Be Touched by Strangers. Another advantage of being pregnant in Hungary was a stranger never touched me. It's just not something they do. But in good ol' overly-friendly North America, that's not the case. Just because a woman's belly is sticking out and there's an adorable baby in it, it is not an open invitation to get physical. Personal space is personal space, no matter what shape it takes.

6. Access to Free (or nearly free) Health Care. Money is the last thing any expecting mother needs to worry about. She has much more important things to ponder: Boy or girl? What sport will she play? Will he have my eyes? How much it will cost to bring the little one into the world should never be an issue. I've been fortunate enough to have given birth/ be pregnant in two countries that place a high priority on making quality health care available to everyone. Granted, taxes are much higher than in the States so I do pay for the care I receive but it's not something I need to think about. In Hungary we chose to pay to see our doctor privately and for me to have a single room during my hospital stay, bringing our total bill to $450. We won't pay anything in Canada. I'm so thankful.

7. To Not be Judged for Her Choices (as long as they're healthy). Want an epidural? You go girl. All-natural home birth? More power to you. Pregnancy and birth are very personal experiences and no woman should be made to feel like the decision she's made are in any way superior or inferior or make her more or less of a woman. As long as her choices are in no way dangerous for her or her baby a woman should choose what is right for her. Whether everything she ate was local organic or a Big Mac was apart of the regular diet every woman is a mother in just the same way. It doesn't matter if she delivered by C-section or in a bathtub at home.

8. To Not be Asked Why She Hasn't Given Birth. This is another area I was very fortunate: Audrey was born 10 days early. But I have heard horror stories about women being pestered by coworkers and people at church who wonder why she hasn't given birth even weeks before the due date. Like it's up to her! Very few pregnant women want to continue being pregnant for a moment longer than is absolutely necessary and no woman is going to intentionally keep her baby inside. All people need to say is that she continues to look radiant. And mind their own business.

9. To Be Treated Like a Person. It's great when people are considerate and sensitive to the fact that the pregnant body does not, in the later part of pregnancy, function optimally. It is not great when they sweep in to do simple tasks a woman is fully capable of doing, or worse, completely write her off as not being capable of anything. A woman is able to form a baby in her womb while contributing to society. And for that she deserves great respect.

10. To Not Hear Complaints About the Fact That She is Pregnant. Pregnancy is hard. The body does things it normally doesn't and takes on a mind of its own. And then there's a growing child who commandeers what little space is in the trunk of the body, and then some. All this means some unusual symptoms that typically only affect mom but it can spill over to others. A pregnant woman has to pee. All the time. There's a little body squishing the bladder until it almost ceases to exist. If others have to wait while the expecting mother uses the bathroom again she does not need to hear any complaints. It's annoying to her and she doesn't need to take it from anyone else. There's also food limitations, slow walking pace, greater sensitivity to smell and other strange symptoms. If these in any way bother those around her they just need to get over it. She is creating a beautiful life, after all.